Friday, April 29, 2016

My MomLife Crisis


A twenty-something client was describing a woman to me the other day. She said, “She’s like, super laced-up, ya know, she’s a mom, wears Lily Pulitzer….” Um. What???

I am 36-years-old and a mom of two baby girls. My eldest is 2 1/2 and ever since the baby has come along I’ve been really struggling trying to find how this new “mom” identity fits in with my life. I still listen to good music. I love going to shows, although I haven’t been to one in almost 2 years. I still love getting drinks even if I am  w a s t e d  off two glasses of wine now. Everything is somewhat the same but also very, very different. 

But I take offense to Lily Pulitzer. While I was developing insatiable cravings for bean burritos and donuts while growing a beautiful baby in my womb, I was not also growing an undying craving to wear paisleys and large print sundresses. When I subscribed to Stitchfix I innocently checked the “I am a Mom” box and immediately began receiving polka dot blouses and knee-length skirts. I just signed up to try Le Tote and this time, I sagely checked no to the “I am a Mom” box. Why is this even a question? Clothing, if anything, may be age appropriate; not to be determined by whether or not your loins have birthed new life into this world. I have not traded my converse for Keds; nor my jumpsuit for a one-piece swimsuit with a ruffle attached to the waist. I refuse to go gently into the night wearing whatever stereotypical moms wear to bed. And you will have to pry my skinny jeans off my cold dead body. 

It’s not just fashion, however, that people stereotype moms about. Twenty-somethings I work with automatically assume we have nothing in common and don’t ask what my weekend plans are. (Yes, they may involve some preschooler’s birthday party and swim lessons but I might surprise you with my super exciting Friday night plans that may involve going to dinner!!!) 

I love my mom life shotgunning coffee while hanging out with my girls watching Frozen or just lying around on the floor for hours watching my baby figure out how to crawl. But finding myself in this new identity has been difficult. I’m used to being the fun quirky mid-level-cool girl who people like to talk to. Not the mom-like figure written off as lame. Not the chick who has to plan at least 3 days in advance for a happy hour. I used to be able to name new bands at the drop of a hat but now with my perpetually sleep-deprived brain I struggle to name the band I try to speak of: You know, it’s that band that had a great album two years ago.. um the lead singer was also in that side project. Shit. 

I’m not sure which is sadder. The fact I had an assistant teach me how to SnapChat in a bid to stay relevant with social media or the fact that I only have five SnapChat friends. Oh wait! I have two more! Make that seven SnapChat friends.

Moms can be cool. Just look at Kate Hudson and… 

What alcohol do moms drink? I need a drink.

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